In a few months I’ll be turning 25 for the 5th time (ok, FINE- I’m turning 29! But I’m not happy about it!) and it leads me to all these random thoughts I keep having, so while this post has literally nothing to do with DIY or home decor I thought I’d share anyway. Because maybe you feel some of this too and you needed to hear it from someone else.
- There is no real point where I have felt like Ok! NOW I’m an adult! I got my Master’s four years ago, I bought a house three years ago, I got married one year ago and I’ve been working as a professional in higher education for over 7 years. Problems and situations have gotten more difficult, my thought process has changed, but I generally just feel like I’m playing one giant game of pretend.
- I have no freaking clue what to wear anymore. My clothes for work are separate from my clothes for going out which are separate from my clothes for hanging around. All I want to do is wear ripped jeans and a beater every day (is beater a Massachusetts thing? An Italian thing? It’s a white ribbed tank top in case you don’t know). I clean up real nice for work but the second I come home that goes out the window. Sometimes I start taking off layers in the car because I can’t wait another minute.
- It’s a lot more effort to maintain friendships now, and it’s important to decide who is worth the effort and who isn’t. When you’re younger and in school and before people get married and have kids and/or grow in their profession you are just constantly surrounded by everyone you know. Now, we’ve split ourselves up throughout the state (throughout the country, really), and it’s hard. I’m a natural introvert… which is probably why I blog. It takes a lot to get me to leave my house, but when I do I usually have a great time. I’m not the best friend I could be to a lot of people, but I think about a lot of people all the time.
- I care not what people think of me. As a female teenager and younger 20-something this seemed so important for so long. Now? Whatever. This thought continues to refine itself too… it now goes for both friends and family. I have made extremely deliberate choices in my life that left me feeling strong and confident. If you don’t want to fit into that, or you don’t want to at least try to understand it, then I really don’t mind. This is a hard thing to learn. I shed a lot of tears while I learnt it. But now that I have, it’s extremely freeing.
- I can pretty much do whatever I want all the time. This is another thing that used to plague me, but now frees me. I have spent my whole life fine tuning who I am and what I stand for, and now I’m old enough to be who I am and express what I stand for. That’s a BIG thought. It can be crippling… until you decide to own it. Once you figure out who you are, and start doing what you truly want to do, there’s no reason to be nervous or apprehensive or defensive about it. Unless what you want to do is you know, sell crack. I want women to feel empowered and strong, I want animals to be treated kindly and to be protected, I want people to care about what technology is good and what technology is bad.
What do you think? What are your big, grown up thoughts? Currently, mine is that hitting “publish” on this post is kind of scary but I’m going to do it any.